the Fonda and me ... all loaded up and ready to start road-tripping!

Eric and I started our motorbike trip of Vietnam on Monday, December 22.  Because it took a while for us to get our act together (and by us, I mean me), we didn’t leave Hanoi until 2:30 in the afternoon.  Our mode of transportation:  two motorbikes neither with operational speedometers, one without a gas gauge and a motor that constantly dies and one with a dodgy right brake and a left mirror that, until it’s tightened, just dangles uselessly like a sad string of spaghetti.  Eric’s pack rests half on the seat and half on a constructed luggage rack behind him and takes up the majority of his seat.  Mine sits on the platform in front of me leaving room for a passenger behind me, but making it difficult to get my key in and out of the ignition.  Oh, and my motorbike key resembles a Philips head screwdriver, but only one way out of the four possible options will fit the ignition.  Our wheels are a barrel of laughs.

I know the year of neither of our motorbikes, but I do know that both of them are knockoffs made in China.  You’ve heard of people knocking off purses, watches, backpacks and jeans.  In Asia, no copyright or intellectual product is sacred … so naturally, Asians have extended their semi-ingenious reverse engineering to even motorbikes.  So my “Honda” is actually a fake made in China.  For this reason, I call it the Fonda.  Eric’s is a knockoff of a Russian motorbike manufactured in the 60s.  Why would someone knock off a Russian motorbike? We’re asking the same question.  Eric read an article the other day about some Vietnamese who were busted selling knockoffs of some expensive wine and alcohol.  God love the Asians.  They keep us highly entertained.  

a man making an extra set of keys for me by hand

We bought our bikes in Saigon, thinking we would start our country-long tour there until we were advised that winter weather would be closing in fast in the North making motorbiking there miserable.  As North Vietnam is reputed to be the most interesting area to motorbike, we changed our plans on the spur of moment, put our bikes on a train and flew to Hanoi.  So the current plan is to tour the North and then head South.  We’ll end the trip in Saigon and hopefully sell the bikes there for the same amount or slightly less than we paid for them; at any rate, less than what it would have cost us to rent bikes for the month.  At least that’s the plan.

Buying the motorbikes was an interesting experience.  In the first place, foreigners in Vietnam are not legally permitted to own them.  When we bought our bikes, each of us got the equivalent of a title, but they aren’t in our name.  In fact, the “titles” weren’t even in the names of the individuals who sold them to us.  We hope that doesn’t mean that they’re stolen.  Most likely, it’s just they way things are done here with little to no government involvement in the day to day transactions of the people.  I guess we’ll find out if we ever get pulled over by the police. 

my motorbike title and contract

Each of us received a contract signed by the seller when we bought our bikes.  The contract is written entirely in Vietnamese and, according to Gui, the guy who helped us find our motorbikes, each contract reads in part: “ If anyone sees this paper, the seller of this motorbike is in big trouble with the police.”  Troubled by this translation, we had a few other people review and interpret the contracts later.  Each of those people translated that last clause as essentially a release of liability for the seller in the event that the bike is involved in an accident - which makes much more sense and makes me rest easier.

Gui was a character.  And by character, I don’t mean a good guy.  He did lead us to what seemed to be decent bikes and served as mediator and translater for the deals, but that’s where the good part ended.  He promised Eric that his deal would include a set of new tires and the addition of a luggage rack to accomodate his pack.  He promised me a set of large mirrors so I could see the huge buses and semis as they loomed down on me.  At the time we bought the bikes, Eric suffered from “bike fever” and I from “boyfriend fever” so we didn’t do the shrewd thing of holding back a portion of the money until all parts of the deal were complete.  Eric got his tires and I ultimately got my mirrors - but only after relentless hounding and even lies that we were leaving town in a few hours.  Eric was out of luck on his luggage rack though and had to have it built himself.  It didn’t set him back much, but it was the principal that stuck in our craw. Gui was a bad operator.  We’re hoping that will be only sour note in the deal and that the bikes will hold up for our trip.  So far, they seem okay.  

motorbike helmets

One of my favorite things about Asia are the misspellings and mistranslations that are everywhere.  Getting into the Asian spirit, we selected motorbike helmets along that vein.  Eric’s reads “KEEP FIGHT” and has an ant as a “mascot.”  We guess that “keep fight” means “hang in there,” “keep on keepin’ on” or something along those lines.  My helmet says “lovey&stweet” (all one word) which is really appropriate since my dark sense of humor would prevent anyone from ever calling me just out-and-out sweet.  I’m sort of sweet so I think “stweet” captures it.  Kind of like saccharine.  My helmet also has  a big heart above “lovey&stweet” which I tolerate for the “stweet” factor; I’m not really a hearts and bows kinda gal. 

my first hitchhiker

Eric had the bright idea of purchasing small Vietnam flags to stick on our bikes.  In addition to that one, I also bought an American one and they fly together off the back of my bike. They’ve already been a hit with locals as we drive by.  They point at them and even play with them when they’re within arms’ reach.  

The weather was already cold today when we started.  Luckily, we each bought warm coats, gloves and scarves in Hanoi which we put to immediate use.  It took us a while to wind our way out of Hanoi.  Old Town Hanoi is a fabulous city that reminds me a lot of Greenwich Village in New York with a major Asian twist.  Like Greenwich Village though, Hanoi’s streets aren’t gridded and it took some time and numerous map consultations to negotiate our way out.  

tall skinny houses in North Vietnam

The roads north of Hanoi were new and really good.  I enjoyed seeing the Vietnamese housing architecture along the road’s edge - the houses are tall and skinny even when there’s not a house built next to it.  I’ve since learned that the government only sells land in lot sizes of five meters wide by fifteen or twenty meters deep (basically 15 feet by 60 feet) which explains the tall skinny shapes.  Although it was cold, banana trees (my favorite) still flourished along the road giving a jungle appearance although the temperatures told me otherwise. 

About thirty minutes out of the city, during one of our map checks, a man approached us and asked for a lift.  Even though Eric’s pack barely leaves room for Eric on the bike seat, the man initially asked Eric for the ride.  Now we’ve seen Asian passengers sit on top of bags and boxes that are stacked on the backs of motorbikes so perhaps the man thought that he could just perch up on top of Eric’s pack.  In fact, by Asian standards, he probably saw room for five more people on Eric’s motorbike.  We, however, only saw room for Eric on Eric’s bike so our hitchhiker was relegated to riding on the completely empty seat behind me.  We chuckled that he didn’t spot that seat first.  Or maybe culturally it’s less appropriate for him to ride with a woman? Who knows.  At any rate, I drove him about an hour to his destination and ours for the evening. 

a man herding ducks on the main highway

On the way, we came across a gaggle of over 100 ducks being herded by a man down a very major highway.  The ducks moved as a collective group, the same way birds fly.  The first few would wander out toward the middle of the road and they would all follow.  The man herding them would run behind and swat at them with a long stick and the group would change shape as they headed back toward the side of the road.  Rogue ducks got scooped up by the duck herder who would stuff them in a sack.  He kept yelling at a man who was walking his bike on the road alongside the ducks.  We didn’t know if the man had tried to steal a duck or why he was being yelled at, but apparently he wasn’t popular with the duck herder. 

We finished the first day of our Vietnam bike trip in Son Tay, a mere 45 km northwest of Hanoi.  Between our late start and our difficulty finding our way out of the oddly arranged city, our progress wasn’t great.  Hopefully tomorrow will be different, but already we’re glad to be out on our own. 

Watch a key being made by hand and general motorbike maintenance Vietnam style via video by clicking here.  Experience of gaggle of ducks (are ducks grouped in gaggles?) and other oddities by traveling with me on the first day of my roadtrip - click here.

To see more photos from the road,check out the “Photos of Her Adventure” page of my blog.