Cambodian woman kneeling in her floating kitchen

December 10 - 12 (I’m just a “bit” behind in my posts!)

After enjoying several days of lovely weather, numerous temples and delightfully friendly villagers in Siem Reap, I caught the slow boat to Battambang, a 7.5 hour boat ride.  I had been told by some Americans I met in Bali that this trip was one not to be missed and that the scenery was fantastic.  Indeed, it turned out to be fantastic … but not in the way I imagined.  The term “fantastic scenery” conjured in my mind visions of high cliffs covered in interesting foliage flanking the river on either side.  There were no cliffs or mountains (a quick glance at any map would have shown me that this part of Cambodia was as flat as a tone-deaf tenor).  Instead, what comprised the fantastic scenery were the floating villages that dotted the river for the entire day long boat ride.  

some small toddlers with a safety gate in their floating house

Making the trip by boat instead of bus provided an up close and personal view right into the homes and living rooms of the families who lived on the river and made their meager living from it.  Old women sat in their doorways chopping meat and vegetables for dinner; men sat together in groups drinking tea or relaxed in hammocks smoking cigarettes.  Some mended fishing traps while toddlers ran smiling and naked along the two foot wide perimeter of the floating houses.  I was interested to see the ramshackle TV antennas that were rigged up to grace even the most rickety of floating houses.

Everyone including the children paddled boats either as a means of transportation or to fish.  Water was obviously deeply intertwined with the lives of these villagers.  Schools, pharmacies and markets all floated on the water amidst the shanty houses and boats that comprised the villages.  I saw ten children in a boat all dressed in school uniforms presumably in their watery version of a school bus, being “driven” home by one of the older boys.  

successful fishing expedition

A boat full of Western tourists passes this way each and every day.  Probably there is more than one per day.  And yet the villagers we encountered, both young and old, waived to us as heartily as if we were celebrities … and the only ones they’d ever seen.  In some ways, this reaction surprised me given that we were peeking right into their living rooms, cameras and zoom lenses all pointed their way.  They didn’t seem bothered by this, however.  In fact, by their smiles and waives, they seemed to invite us in.  I’m sure that if I had been kayaking along in my own little boat and could stop at my leisure, they would have extended an actual invitation. 

Besides the interesting if voyeuristic glimpses of everyday life on the river, I was surprised at the density of the water foliage.  In places, it choked the water so much that the boat essentially had to cut its own path through the vegetation.  After making one such pass, one of the boat crew removed his shoes, rolled up his pants leg and submerged his leg in the water to clear any plants from the boat’s machinery.

It has been my goal in each country I visit to take a cooking lesson of some kind.  The same couple who told me about the boat ride to Battambang also endorsed a cooking class at a restaurant called the “Smokin’ Pot” so I signed up.  I got more than a cooking lesson, however.  

fish curry cooking at the Smokin' Pot cooking class

I met a man named Mark who shared a fascinating personal life story with me.  Mark was born in 1979 in Cambodia. At the time, Pol Pot was cutting his genocidal swathe through the country and Mark’s family was desperate to escape.  They waited until his mother gave birth to him, allowed her two weeks’ recovery before making their attempt to sneak into Thailand. Mark was a 15 day old infant when they arrived at the Thai border crossing in the middle of the night.  

His family actually was in that age-old dilemma that we Westerners face merely as a theoretical situation in philosophy class:  a group of people are under seige and fleeing for their lives.  They are traveling with an infant.  If the infant cries out, the group’s position will be discovered and all their lives jeopardized. What do you do if the infant begins to cry? 

Fortunately for all of them, they didn’t have to make any dreadful decisions as Mark kept completely silent all night long.  I couldn’t resist asking him whether he had ever asked his family what they would have done in the event he had cried.  Apparently Mark’s will power is stronger than mine … he never asked.  I probably wouldn’t have either.

Mark and his friend Wilson tasting their work

Besides meeting fun and fascinating people, the cooking class itself was fabulous.  We started with a trip to the market … always a delight in Asia.  We learned to make three Cambodian dishes plus a curry sauce that we used in several of the recipes: chicken soup, fish curry and a spicy beef dish that I made extra spicy by adding more peppers and garlic than were called for.  It was amazing … but I cried the entire time I was eating it … and then guzzled two liters of water to quench my pour tongue.

Speaking of food, I’ve been incredibly remiss in my discussions about and photographs of food during my entire trip.  I must say that I’ve eaten incredibly well … and managed to lose weight at the same time (except when I go on my “I miss Western food binges” and then the pounds come right back on).  I can excuse my lack of food photographs with my excitement to delve into each dish as soon as it’s presented, but I’ll try to do better in the future.

Besides providing nutrition and a culinary education, Asian food, like so many other things Asian, provides me with laughs and surprises.  Things that I expect to taste salty, taste sweet and vice versa.  Also, Asians like gelatinous foods, a texture that isn’t used much in the West.  While we have very few foods that are black in color (licorice, black beans and things that are burned are the only things that come to mind), Asians have many black foods … and surprisingly, most of them are sweet … and gelatinous.   I’ve learned to let go of my expectations and usually I like just about everything I eat.  I’ve learned that letting go of expectations is generally a good rule of thumb for traveling in Asia … and in life.  

my spicy beef dish that sent me into tears ... but doesn't it look beautiful?

In addition to getting cheap laughs from the appearance of various Asian foods, Asian menus never fail to send me into fits of giggles.  In the first place, they are as thick as novels and often take as long to read through.  Sometimes it’s WHAT’s being served that makes me laugh, other times it’s how what’s being served is described and then there are the typos where things just get lost in translation.  I’ve been keeping notes on some of the best.  Hope you giggle (or groan!) as much as I did.  NOTE: I’ve triple checked spellings here.  Any mis-spellings are exactly as they appeared on the menus … which is of course what makes them funny.

At the Sovanna Restaurant in Phnom Penn, they serve “roasted inner bull” and “stomach tongue of bull.”  Not sure how the tongue got in the stomach, but it certainly wasn’t going in mine (although I have eaten cow stomach on the trip several times … gotta be polite when you’re at someone’s house and they offer it to you!).  Their menu was divided into the following sections:  “Frying” “Soap” “Spicu” “Sticy.” Of course the first two translated into “fried foods” and “soup” but I never could figure out the last two.  Perhaps they were two different sections of “spicy.” 

The “Delicious Cafe” in Phnom Penh serves a variety of ice cream sundaes.  The photographs look much like ours, but the titles are very different and much more descriptive.  I used to want to be the girl who got to name the OPI nail colors.  Now I want to name Cambodian ice cream sundaes for a living.  There were:  

Princess Hiding & Eating on the Snow Mountain

Sweet Love Strawberry Cookies Chocolate Star

Chocolate Skiing Star on the Snow

Three Colors Skiing Star on the Snow

Chocolate Star Lead Its Child

Asia Star Relax by Boat

Red Female Strawberry Star (a bit provocative)   

Adult Africa Star (the picture with this one also looked a bit provocative)

When it comes to unusual foods though, no Asian country I’ve been to thus far holds a candle to Vietnam.  The Vietnamese eat EVERYTHING that moves … sometimes while it’s still moving.  In fact, they even have a saying, “Chu cut voi la xoan” which translates “We eat everything except poisonous leaves and shit.”  

Food items and animal parts at which we would turn up our nose are highly regarded here.  For example, at the very upscale Hanoi Garden restaurant, “sea slugs in crab soup” topped the menu.  I suppose food and laughs are a good way to transition to a new country so I’ll start my introduction to Vietnam by sharing some of their menus.

The Din Ky restaurant in Saigon served the following:

Bird Nest Drink 

Sauteed Mudfish in Hot Pot

Sauteed Ox Penis with Satay

Fish Bladder Soup with Crabmeat

Pig Brain Soup with Crabmeat

Shark Fin Soup & Bird Nest Soup (each of these were, of course, astronomically priced at least by Asian standards)

Fried Chicken Stesticals with Garlic

Fried Feather Back Fish Balls

Braised Four Kinds of Object in Hot Pot

Grilled Salmon Heads with Salt and Red Pepper

Fried Battered Bowel

Cow Marrow Omelette

Sauteed Noodle with Three Special Objects

Sauteed Pork Rib Thickly

In addition, their menu was divided into sections.  One page included crocodile, frog, eel and squid while another page was limited to pidgeon, clam, bloody clam and sweet snail.

I’m a somewhat adventurous eater so I couldn’t resist ordering the Sauteed Mudfish in Hot Pot - which was delicious -  and a Bird’s Nest drink.  The drink came in a soda can and the ingredients listed were “water, sugar, white fungus, agar, bird’s nest and flavor.” I’m not sure what agar was but the drink tasted like sugar water with gelatinous chunks thrown in.  Not bad, but I don’t think I’ll order another.

The Com Bao Kahn restaurant in Hanoi advertises that they serve Vietnam Traditional Rice and Food.  On their menu was:

Sweet & Sour Grated Salad with Water Drop Wart

Flower of Banana Food

Bean Curd with Absorb Salty Eggs

Pidgeon Braised with Traditional Medicinal

Frogs Trotterclip Fried with Flour

Frog Roasted with Salt - New Style

Stomach of Fish Stir Fried with Pickle

Stewed Tortoise with Traditional Medication

There was an entire section of pidgeon on the menu (I ordered the braised pidgeon with mushroom. Good but not much meat.) as well as a section on “cock testical.”  One could order their cock testicles “boiled Ngocke” or “Ngocke stir fried with celery and garlic or Ngocke steamed with egg.  I don’t know what any of that means, but it cracks me up that they had experimented with cooking cock testicles enough to have devised at least three methods of serving them. 

So … who would like to join me for dinner?    

If you’d like to join me via video for my cooking class, click here. 

To see more photos of the Battambang boat trip, the cooking class and a trip to a random Cambodian village,check out the “Photos of Her Adventure” page of my blog.